Hello there, its another beautiful Monday! I know most of us don’t like Mondays because of its demands. The intoxication of weekend’s rest and excitement is still so fresh and we feel like “damn its Monday again”. Well it is what it is. You just have to get out of your comfort zone and get productive again. I believe you are in great health stamina. So today we will continue our ride with a new episode from Letters From The School Of Bitter Truth. Remember, this is a series that contains a continuous flow of random thoughts and random topics that most people don’t like to talk about. These ideas will be presented as articles. I’m just a vessel. As always, you can bring suggestions on the topics you would love me to discuss in the coming Mondays. Just leave it in the comment box and I will get it in my mail box.  Start your week fresh and mentally energized with this liberating straight talk piece . Have a productive week and enjoy.

No More “What Will People Say”: If I Die I Die

A lot of us are in constant friction with what is expected of us as social beings by the people around us against what makes us happy as individuals. The pressure that comes with what is expected becomes overburdening sometimes to the extent that we give in our personal happiness just to be considered elite members of our society. Am not saying it’s wrong to be an elite member of your community, my only concern is on at what cost? Should one really give up their own happiness and freedom just to fit in? Obviously it’s a hell no from me (and I really hope for you too). Am writing this for all of us who have been enslaved by expectations by the people around us who are constantly telling us how we should handle somethings without even considering what we think or how we feel.

Sometimes we all wish we could do things our own way in our own liberty, time and space but unfortunately that’s not always the case. Most of us have been crucified by a subliminal fear that has the question “what will people say” infesting the consciousness of our thoughts every time we want to take a step towards personal happiness in our lives (I pointed this last Monday). Am not saying being cautious is problematic, no, but does it have to be detrimental to your adventurous endeavor toward personal happiness? You cannot, matter of fact you should never give in to people’s expectations over your personal fulfilment. Nothing is more depressing than seeking people’s approval and trust me you can never fully please everyone no matter how hard you try. Don’t even try it, it’s a waste of time and energy. Focus on what makes you happy, period.

Now let me use the internet, social media in particular, as an example of a community you don’t have to necessarily “give a damn” about what everyone else would say about what you do and how you do it. No lie, the internet is both a blessing and a curse, only depends how you use it. Social media on the other hand is one great complicated child born of the internet. Anything could happen to you on social media but that’s another topic for another day. My interest on social media in line with our topic now is on how one gets to be judged by what they post! It’s very pathetic to see how some people have become judges of character by only taking note of what one post’s. I can’t deny that there is an element of the person in what they post but is it really enough to judge a whole grown up person’s personality by his or her online posts? How would you even know someone’s maturity level by just looking at the jokes they post? Don’t we all have social masks? There are many people out here hidden in different masks pretending to be the things they are not. This is why there is no need to waste your time and energy trying to live up to the standards of anyone, set your own bar and live up to it.

Why should someone choke you for being so excited for being ‘ happily married’ on social media? How is it their business? Whether your marriage is a happy one or not should not bulge anyone. Do your thing. You have just got a new boyfriend or girlfriend and you’re happy with the person why not post them if it adds to your happiness? Whether it lasts or not, it doesn’t matter, embrace every moment of it because even marriages get served with divorces so tell those judging you by your posts “if I die I die”. I mean why should you waste time irrationally cautioning your self with the enslaving inner still voice of “what will people say” when you just want to post “mama I made it” after your graduation? You worked tirelesslya in those sleepless nights alone! And when they say ” we will see if he/she gets a job ” through their crooked fake smiles, give them a real on and in your heart scream on top of your faith “the same God that started with me will finish the job!”.

You don’t have to justify everything that you do. There is no need to try pleasing everyone around you. Sometimes the people you are trying so much to please or get approval from are  not even concerned about what you do. Don’t enslave yourself to any chain of mob mediocrity and people’s opinions of you don’t necessarily depict your true self. Know yourself and embrace what you really are as you emancipate yourself from the stained chains of “what will people say”. Chose to be happy and be happy.

Ntho’sPen✍️

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Joseph Daniel Sukali is a Malawian freelance writer, blogger, award winning spoken word poet and a mental health advocate. Some of his works have been published in the Best “New” African Poet 2020 ANTHOLOGY, Writers Global Movement (WGM) magazine and several other local and international magazines. He is also a contributor to an online library Good Literature Malawi, columnist of Malawi Talents Magazine and editor of Love Feast Magazine. Sukali has authored and published a book "Dealing with a Heartbreak: Therapy for the Broken-A Health Relationship Guide”. He is also a co-author of a poetry anthology "Whispers of Beating Hearts". His 2020 spoken word album “Wonders Of My Perception” is available for free download online. The 26 year old is a holder of a bachelor's degree obtained from Mzuzu University. Apart from being a wordsmith, Joseph Daniel Sukali is currently an employee of Emmanuel International Malawi and he is also an ambassador for Maphunziro265 Malawi.

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